Keep it together, you idiot
by margototheleft
Summary: After a circle of events begin falling down upon them, Steve struggles to protect his friends from spiraling into a bottomless pit of depression and rage. Where he soon discovers he was amongst the first to fall in. 1st PPOV-Steve. Book Retelling.
1. Welcome to my life

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters in this story that were originally mentioned by S.E. Hinton, the book, movie, or TV show.

All rights go to her, for creating such an amazing book. :)

* * *

My idiot father told me to get the hell out again, I thought laughing in spite of myself. What's new?

It was pretty chilly out, thats for sure, and I didn't have my jacket. I shoved my hands deep into my jean pockets hoping to gather a little warmth, then attempted to shrug it off because I was already half way to Soda's.

I was pondering whether or not I was going to sneak back inside later that night when my dad was too drunk to notice, or just stay at Soda's.

Sodas been my best friend since grade school, I usually go to his house after a falling-out with my frequently drunken father. you could say I'm not wanted at home as much as your average Joe, and I'm not quite sure I want to be there myself. My dad don't give a hang and we never stop fighting.

I'm sort of fortunate though at least I have the gang, there pretty much the only family I have. Did I mention I'm a grease? Yeah, I've got long hair that I comb into complicated swirls just behind the ears, and it's always got hair grease in it, always. I'm quite proud of it, but heck hair is usually a greasers most prize possession. We really ain't got the money to afford nothin nice anyhow, heh that is unless we steal it.

But then theres the Soc's, the rich kids, always lookin for a fight. I'll tell yah they will jump just about any greaser for no reason. Hell if they can't get ahold of a greaser they'll just jump another soc. Thats how they get their kicks, man do i hate them.

I gripped the gate handle and forced it open, trotted up the porch and as natural let myself in. Everyone in the gang does it, its a habit.

I spotted Soda on the couch and I instantly leapt towards him roughing him up a little.

Soda was lean, but he had a good build. He was sixteen-going-on-seventeen, and quite the ladies man, he had a smile that I swear by all means was contagious. I just don't think there was anyone who didn't love sodapop, he could make anyone smile, no matter how down they were feeling.

The door slammed shut and I looked up, Darry was back from work. "hey there superdope!" I patted him on the back grinning wildly.

Everyone calls him superman, because hes huge, hes been building roofs for a long time now, it tears him up pretty bad, but he does it anyway, and besides when Im not in school I like to come down and help him out a bit. I call him 'superdope' to mess with him, man he hates being called dumb. He never got over not going to college.

Darry was Soda's older brother, Ponyboy's too. He was pretty much the 'unofficial' leader of our gang as well since he was oldest and most level headed. We don't really have a leader like most gangs around here do, we just kinda meshed together I guess. I'm kinda glad anyway, there's alot more you gotta worry about when your tied into something big like the Shepherd's gang.

Darry, Soda, and Ponyboy's parents died about eight months back. The state let Darry keep custody as long as the three of them promised to stay reasonably behaved. He was 21, and sadly getting too old too fast. He got hit with a lot of responsibilities when their parents died, and I guess it's about time it all finally started catching up to him.

"You know superman, if you get any bigger you'll rip right through them shirts of yours, and then what will we do?" I asked, Sheepishly. Inviting myself into their already burdened financial burdens. "It's either going to be food for the week or shirts for Darry, food for the week or-"

He stopped me by not so nicely, whacking me in the back of the head. Turning around I leaned over his shoulder and peered at the mail in his hands.

"You know superdope, I will make you pay for that one." I said coolly into his ear.

"I'd like to see you try crock-tooth, now quit breathing down my neck, theres no mail here for you. Even though you might think you live here, you don't." Darry hissed and I gave him a sour look.

"Anyone seen Ponyboy today?" He cracked a grin and shook me vigorously. "I was just messing around buddy, you know the old saying, 'me casa su casa'."

"Nah Darry, I ain't seen the kid all day." I told him, I hadn't been outside at all today anyway, except for the walk here that is.

"I don't know either, he wasn't here when I got home." soda explained falling to the couch, not so gently.

"Hey little man you watch it, you bust that couch and it's coming out of your paycheck." Darry scolded, fixing himself a turkey sandwich.

About an hour or so of lazing around and sincere nothingness had passed, and it was really time for me to stretch my legs. I stood up, stretched, and as if perfectly on que, Two-bit swung through the door in a frantic rush.

"Ponyboy, car, soc's, lets go!" He shouted through the door and slammed it on the way out.

I started to follow and heard Soda call for Darry. Two-bit led us around the corner and some what in the distance I had spotted the car. Picking up pace I raced past Two-bit and as I closed in they seen me coming.

In a split second I leapt towards the car, and they had already managed to get into it. Quickly and forcefully I sent a jab through the open window and managed to hit the guy pretty good near his jaw. Fighting back he pawed me in the nose and before I knew it the car sped away.

I trotted over to the kid and carefully looked him up and down. He was alright, there was a cut below his neck, but he wasnt showing much else. With some given time he might bare a few bruises but nothing real serious.

Soda leaned down and pulled out one of our rags from the DX, then carefully wiped away the blood that trickled from Pony's neck, Darry forcefully brought him up to his feet.

"God dammit Ponyboy, what the hell is wrong with you?" Darry shouted. "You don't ever think, it ain't safe walking around here by your lonesome and you know that. You could of at least carried a blade-"

"I was just walking home from the movies Darry," Pony cut in.

I swear I'd heard this argument at least fifteen times before, so I tried turning my attention somewhere else.

Of course that was kind of hard to do with Soda continuously poking Ponyboys bloody rag at my face.

"Come on Soda, what the hell are you doing that's gross." I complained.

"You have a little something, right there." He said in a sing-song voice, pointing at his own nose then tossing me the red stained rag.

I caught it out of instinct and looked at it hesitantly, very hesitantly. Then quickly wiped the blood coming from my nose and threw the rag to the ground.

Walking back toward Soda's house, I began eyeing Dally, who was supposed to be in jail.

"Hey Dall, what are you doin out of the cooler, I thought you were supposed to be in for about 90 days?" I questioned.

"They let me out early man, good behavior." he smiled somethin ugly, and I knew there was no way they let him out for good behavior, that just wasn't dally, but I figured it was best to just let it go.

It was usually best to drop things when it came to Dallas Winston.

Pony approached us coyly rubbing his hands through his greased hair, then returned them to the pockets of his jeans.

"What the hell were you thinking, walking the streets all by your lonesome?" I asked sarcastically.

"None of your buisness smarty," Ponyboy snapped.

Sometimes I just want to punch that kids lights out, but I won't, because he's sodas kid brother. Which sort of makes him my brother to be honest. I consider this gang family, because I ain't one of my own. Well, I do, but thats only figuratively, I got a dad, but as far as I'm concerned he's a piece of shit.

Darry says sometimes Ponyboy just needs to learn to use his head, which is true, he could tell you anything from a book but he didn't have the attention span or street smarts that most of us had, and around here that stuff was important.

Ponyboy was different and I probably would never admit it, at least not out loud, but I envied him for that. He was going somewhere, unlike the rest of us, I mean not all of us, but the majority of greasers.

Dally for example, who would die on these streets a hood, just like his mother always told him, and I didn't doubt it either. I just wish things didn't have to be that way, but they are what they are, and I ain't got much say in anything anyhow.

Dally was the spitting image of what you might call a no good hood. He grew up on the wild side of New York, and you could say his permanent record started when he was about ten years old. Dallas was rougher, meaner, and more dangerous then anyone else I knew. He didn't understand the concept of love, he was loyal, but he didn't even love himself, much less anybody else.

I couldn't blaim him though, not with his past, and not with his parents either, I know my dad is something awful, but Dally's parents were just something else.

Dallas threw a welcoming arm around Johnny's shoulders as they continued walking along.

"Hey Johnny, how you doing man?" He asked with a more gentle voice than usual.

We all used a more gentle voice when it came to Johnny.

"Oh, Im good. I'd be better though if them dang soc's would just stay on their side of town." Johnnny explained.

Johnny was 16, and still shown a smaller figure then Ponyboy who had only turned 14 last month. Johnny usually kept alone or quiet about anything even in front of the gang. Although he doesn't like to show it, Johnny's dangerously frightful, thanks to a real bad jumping from the soc's not to far back. In fact, he had a rather large scar across his cheekbone that he would carry for the rest of his life, as a result of it.

Personally I liked Johnny, he was good people, he didn't talk a whole lot, but thats alright because he didn't have to. Johnny knew the score, thats for sure. He probably had the worst home life of us all, but he wasn't complaining. In fact he still loves his parents, thats why he doesn't talk about it much, and we don't make him.

Johnny is an easy opposite of Dallas, if you could imagine a sad lost puppy that has been kicked too many times you'd have Johnny, and then if you looked a little higher you'd see Dallas, the idiot kicking the puppy.

That's whats strange about it, Dallas was capeable of anything, but he didn't have the guts to do something like that to Johnny.

Their basic differences make them sort of the same, it's hard to explain. Heck everything about Johnny is hard to explain, but it's just always been that way, we all needed Johnny even though I wasn't sure why, maybe he was a reminder to us all that not everyone gets mean, and maybe there was still hope for the rest of us who haven't.

Dallas and Johnny. They were quite the item, I'd thought about it a lot actually, I guess no one could ever understand that bond, no one could break it either. Johnny kept Dallas sane and Dallas kept Johnny from killing himself. It's just one of them things no one needs to question, either you get it, or you dont, depends on how you look at things I guess.

"So Dally, you and Sylvia wanna come over to the game with me and Soda Friday night?" I offered. "Were taking Evie and Sandy."

"I want to go." Ponyboy added.

"Were taking girls, which means no kids aloud." I teased.

"Eh sorry man," Dallas tried to hide a smile while lighting up a cigarette, "I think I'll just catch a movie, kids are aloud." Dally said teasingly motioning to Ponyboy and Johnny.

"Sure we'll go," Johnny confirmed.

"Well I'm gonna pick up on a few buds, but if I don't get too drunk I'll join y'all." Two-bit announced.

I was surprised he said something, I think I had forgotten he was there. Being quiet was an unusual thing for a guy like Two-bit, an he ain't said two words since we ran them soc's off.

Two-bit, is the last of our gang. He always has to get his two bits in, hence the name. His real name is Keith, I'm kind of surprised I remember that, no one calls him Keith, not even his mother, unless he makes her really mad anyhow.

Surprisingly Two-bit has one of the more put together families of us all. His dad left him when he was young, but his mom is a nice lady, and he has a younger sister too, I don't know much about her, except she has a crush on Ponyboy. He is to old for her though, besides he's not into chicks yet.

Two-bit could be described as witty, but thats only witty with remarks. He's otherwise pretty dumb. Which makes it hard to believe when he tells me school is his favorite place to be. I think he just goes for the kicks though, he needs constant interaction. I mean he is 18 and a half and still a junior in high school, I'm sure glad he digs it.

"Well I need to get on out of here now, I'm supposed to watch the kid tonight while my mother works." Two-bit sighed. "Ponyboy you and Johnny want to give me a push start?"

"Not really but we will," Ponyboy moaned.

"That's the spirit!" Two-bit cheered, opening his car door then plopping inside. "I'll catch y'all later."

Ponyboy and Johnny pushed from the back as Two-bit struggled to start the engine. Just as he got to the foot of the drive way his car sputtered followed by the roar of an engine, and he took off.

Two-bit's car was a piece of shit. No other way I can put it.

I decided there was going to be a lot of tension around Soda's house that night, a lot more then at my own, but that's only if the old man doesn't realize I'm there. I figured I'd take my chances, because it was getting late and I had a pretty good walk home considering I needed to stop at the store and grab a few things first, mainly cigarettes, so I left shortly after.

Usually I got my car, but it hasn't been doing too good lately. I figured I'd go home and vegetate in my garage a while, perhaps fix her up a bit.

Yeap, thats what I would do, I would hide from my problems again, the same way I always did.


	2. The date

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters in this story that were originally mentioned by S.E. Hinton, the book, movie, or TV show.

All rights go to her, for creating such an amazing book. :)

* * *

I stood coolly against the DX and looked into the sky, the sun was setting, clouds were changing colors, I mean the whole experience was really moving, hypothetically of course.

Eventually I snapped back into reality and decided to pace up and down the sidewalk so I could maybe just maybe convince myself that I hadn't momentarily gone soft.

I caught sight of my reflection through the windows of the somewhat vacant DX, and as I approached them I smiled running my hands through my neatly greased hair, I had to admit I looked pretty tuff.

"Hey pretty boy, what's hangin?" I felt a snarling presence behind me.

The shock made me jump a little, I quickly tensed up and reached for my pocket where I kept my switch blade, but then I caught sight of sodas face reflecting through the windows behind me with a raunchy smirk on his face.

I turned around quickly shoving him towards the road. "Not cool." I threatened.

Staggering then regaining his balance Soda skidded to a halt. Looking directly at me, he flashed another one of his unforgivable grins, and I couldn't help but smile too.

"Well you ready, the game starts in ten minutes?" I asked.

"Yeah, I told the girls to just meet us at the game." Soda explained, and I nodded quietly in approval.

Normally We'd drive my car and pick the girls up, but tonight that was out of the question. Soda handed me an extra weed, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. Searching my pockets I pulled out a lighter and began to strike it vigorously but the flame kept going out.

Damn Fall wind. I thought to myself. Creating a wind guard with my left hand I struck the lighter once again, and finally, got the darn thing to light. Exhaling the smoke slowly I cherished it, that was what I really needed at the moment, and all that I wanted.

* * *

The game started as me and soda climbed all the way to the top of the bleachers. Since soc's and parents usually sat up close thats where we were stuck, believe me us greasers already know our place, and unless were deliberately looking for trouble, we usually just dealt with it.

Soda spotted Sandy and sat down next to her whilst I sat somewhere below. Ten minutes passed and the score was still zero to zero, but there was no sight of Evie. I sat resting my arms in my lap and patiently waiting.

With a gasp and then a short cheer from the crowd, I seen that Rob Hayes, Will Rodgers high school; running back and lineman, intercepted a pass from the defending team and was now running full speed toward the end zone.

Lazily I watched, yet barely amused, looking for some sort of distraction when the crowd around me stood up and began frantically cheering. I felt a light tap on my right shoulder, and turned to see a distraught ill looking Evie.

"Woah babe, w-what's gotten into you? You alright?" I stuttered becoming worried.

"Steve, can you just come with me, please?" She begged with sincere eyes.

* * *

At this point I was ready to get on my knee's and thank her, I hadn't been there long but I wanted to get out terribly. Football really wasn't my thing, unless I was just playing in the lot with the boys or something. To be honest I preferred drag races and baseball.

I was actually on the school's baseball team, it was mainly a hobby, just something to do I guess. I barely came to practice but three times a week, and coach let me play in the games anyway. I was actually pretty good, it was probably only because I got so much enjoyment from knocking the shit out of that little white ball. I usually just pretended it was someone else's head, preferably my fathers. Hopefully that would be considered a healthy way of releasing ones anger.

* * *

I stood up laying an arm across Evie's shoulders, and began walking her carefully down the bleachers. She leaned into me as if she was nearly ready to collapse, and I stiffened my grip on her, trying to walk a little faster so we could get off the bleachers before she decided to tumble, if she was going to.

At last reaching the grass below us, I felt a wave of relief crash over me. Still persistent I pushed Evie along towards a few picnic tables in the back of the area, where there was no action so most likely resulting in very few people.

Easing her down, then sitting myself right next to her I carefully moved her bangs out of her face and studied it carefully. Her skin was pale, and her eyes were red. Her hair was out of place and although she was smiling, she looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Are you drunk, Evie?" I questioned.

"Of course not Steve." She said.

"You look like you've just been hit by a truck." I insisted, hoping Evie understood my attitude and didn't quite take me the wrong way. I wasn't trying to be an asshole, I just wanted to make a point.

She laughed and shook her head. "Steve, what in the world am I going to do with you?"

I forced myself a smile, to enlighten her.

"No need to get all worked up, I'm just feeling a little sick is all." She explained.

"Define a little." I demanded.

"Well, I showed up here feeling nauseous, so I ralphed about twenty five times in the bathroom, don't worry about it. I feel better now."

"Twenty five times!?" I exclaimed.

"Relax Stevie, I was exaggerating."

Suddenly reality crashed into me out of no where, and I quickly became spooked.

"Woah Woah Woah, your not telling me that your... oh my god please tell me that your not!"

"Steve your acting crazy. Tell you that I'm not what?" She looked at me like there was something hanging from my nose.

I sat quietly for a moment, thoughts racing frantically through my head.

"Dear god Steve, I'm not pregnant!" She shrieked, finally understanding what I meant.

"Your not?" I asked still hesitant.

"No!"

I let out a sigh, with all of the excitement and relief I had in me. Then stood up quickly throwing my hands in the air, I probably looked like an idiot but I didn't care. I just found out my girlfriend wasn't pregnant! I suppose that sounds bad too, but I'm only seventeen. sheesh.

Evie began giggling at how flustered I'd become, and I scowled to myself. My face was probably some sight to have seen thats for sure.

Giving Evie a hand, I attempted pulling her up from the bench, but as I did so she went weak again and nearly fell. Supporting her with my arm around her waist, I suggested that I just walked her home instead of continuing on with the date.

"Don't be silly I'm alright. We can watch this game if you want." She tried to sound cheerful, but I could hear her voice shaking.

"Your going home or your going to the hospital, which will it be?" I questioned sternly.

"Home." She sighed.

The sky was finally growing darker as the sun set completely, as it was rapidly becoming colder too. I felt Evie shaking underneath my arm and whether it was from her illness or from the cold I wasn't so sure. I took off my jacket, and settled it over her shoulders. She quickly placed her arms into the sleeves, and after a few minutes the shaking stopped.

I was freezing, and couldn't wait till Evie was home. She needed rest, and I really needed my jacket back.

* * *

Now standing amongst her front door, I wrapped my arms around her waist, and looked into her eyes. They were still red, almost as if she'd been crying for a very long time, and I knew she wasn't feeling well.

"Get some rest, I'll be by sometime later on. Understand?" I scolded.

Evie just smiled and nodded her head, she never took me too seriously.

Although most of the time that was a good thing because I always acted like a little shit, and I really didn't mean too. Her and Soda were the only ones that truly understood that.

Carefully removing my black leather jacket from her shoulders, I leaned in to kiss her, meeting her lips softly. As the kiss grew more intense, I pulled away. sliding the jacket completely off of her.

"Get some rest." I finalized, before turning around and walking towards home.

* * *

A little later that evening, I was sitting in Buck's bar, we were talking over a few bottles of bud. He had a deal with some sponsors, and it turns out they were looking for a driver. Nothing big really, just someone to race around those little bomber cars on Friday nights, but he thought Soda and me might be interested.

"There's Dally," Buck announced, but only loud enough so I could hear.

Dally sat on the stool next to me, and Buck put down a beer for him. I was sure glad that we, as in the whole gang, had it on the in's with Buck. None of us were old enough to get our own beer legally, except Darry, so Buck just gave it to us. I ain't crazy about drinking, I hated my father for it, but it was nice on occasion.

I looked at Dally vagrantly. He was busted up, but not too bad, just enough to make him look kinda tough. Not that he wasn't already tough looking in the first place.

"Jesus man, it looks like Ponyboy got a hold of ya."

"Huh?" He was only listening to me partially.

"You've got what? Three scratches, and most likely a twisted ankle, but that probably happened when he ran away and you thought you could catch him." I joked.  
Buck laughed, to himself of course. He was pretending that he wasn't listening to our conversation but we knew better.

Dally snickered, and took a swig from his bottle. "Yeah, and I know that games not over Steve, so wheres your girl or did Soda score double tonight?" He snapped back.

I frowned and looked away. I was always sort of jealous of Soda, he had the movie star good looks, and as his best friend I was usually the idiot that got played by girls trying to get closer to him. Evie wasn't like that though, and I was thankful for it. She was actually somehow disinterested with him, something I'd never seen before, especially from a chick.

"Yeah real funny Dally, so where you headed from here?" I asked curiously.

"Actually, I'm staying here, Buck has an open room upstairs and I think I'm gonna get some sleep tonight. I got in fight with Shepard earlier."

"Shepard? What happened to your kiddy date with Pony and Johnny?"

"Alright, get a load of this. Were all sitting there, and this real cute red head soc and her friend sit in front of us. Now you know me, I was only trying to be a gentleman to her. Next thing you know the dumb broad throws a coke in my face and Johnny of all people stands up and tells me to leave her alone. Now I mean people don't tell me what to do and get away with it, ever, but I couldn't of hit Johnny. I didn't have it in me, so I just left before I did something real stupid." He explained.

"So, you went and beat the hell out of Shepard instead? Nice." I commented.

"Yeah, you could say that. He had it coming anyway, trying to accuse me of slashing his tires. Aw hell, I did slash his tires, but really who does this asshole think he is anyway? He didn't have no proof."

I usually enjoyed talking to Dally, because I was always somewhat intrigued by him and his stories. Around 11:00 PM, Dally went upstairs and I slipped on home, I only drank two and a half beers over the three hours I was there, so I knew I wasn't drunk, that would be ridiculous.

* * *

I almost knocked on the door before going inside, thats how weird this place was to me. It didn't feel like home, because it wasn't home.

I walked upstairs and peeked into my fathers bedroom door, which is where I found him. Passed out drunk, his whole room reeked of alcohol, there were bottles all over the floor and dresser, and it looked like he hadn't showered in days.

I sighed and thought about how embarrassed it made me feel to have a father that acted this way. It was hard to believe he was a grown man.

I walked away in disgust and picked up some of the mess downstairs before I went off to bed.

I take it back, hes not a grown man, just a "selfish, stupid, young boy!" I grunted kicking the wall as hard as I could, then leaned against it. I regained my cool, and entered my room trying as hard as I could to resist slamming the door behind me. GOODNIGHT DAMMIT.


	3. Lost kid and nothing accomplished

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters in this story that were originally mentioned by S.E. Hinton, the book, movie, or TV show.

All rights go to her, for creating such an amazing book. :)

* * *

Waking up at seven in the morning on a Saturday, that's not what I call fun. But still, I showered, dressed, greased my hair, ate, and left by 8 AM. This wasn't something I did normally, but I didn't want pop's to wake up and see me in that house.

I have my dignity, and I'll be damned if I let someone walk on it. Especially him, and there's no way I'd let him catch me in that house, at least not right after he kicked me out of it. Which he just happened to do the previous afternoon, I'm sorry but I'd rather go out with Evie than spend all my time doing him useless favors.

Besides, he just might get the idea that I actually need him, when frankly, I don't.

* * *

I didn't want to wake up Ponyboy, Soda, or Darry. I'm not too sure, but I don't think they'd appreciate it very much, so carefully I closed the door.

Taking off my shoes, I set them next to the couch and gladly fell atop of it. I turned on the TV and noticed Darry had it set to KYW-TV The Mike Douglas Show. It was tuff enough, especially since the Rolling Stones were co-hosting.

After a good amount of time had passed, I finally heard some ruffling coming from the back of the house. Slowly Soda emerged from the back hallway, and ran a hand across his groggy face. I muted the TV.

"Is Ponyboy here?" He asked.

"I thought he lived here Soda." I said sarcastically.

"Darry lost his cool last night, and he hit him." Soda looked down and ran his fingers through his hair. "He ran off and he ain't come back yet."

"Aw Soda he'll be back, the kid just needed to blow off some steam, he'll come around." Yes, that was my sad attempt to keep Soda's hopes up.

I wasn't worried yet, I'd ran off before, of course I always came back, but it took me time. I told you before it's like dignity, if you come running back too soon you just seem helpless. When your helpless people think they can just push you around whenever the hell they want. For most guys that doesn't fly well. He'd be back, and I bet by tomorrow at the latest.

"Alright, well, I'll be back out in a minute." Soda stretched and walked into the bathroom, seconds later I heard the shower start, and I un-muted the TV.

* * *

"One of you two make sure you let me know when Ponyboy comes home, I have to go. I'm running late." Darry pleaded, putting his dishes into the sink.

"Where ya going?" Soda asked, looking confused.

"To work."

"On a Saturday, Darry are you nuts?" I chimed in.

"I need to finish the job, were running late this week because of that damn storm last Tuesday. Besides, Carl Steele is taking us out for a couple rounds of bud right after. I wont be home too late, and you can get a hold of me at Buck's anytime after four if something happens." Darry explained, quickly tying his shoes.

Soda shook his head and started the dishwater.

"Don't be like that Soda, I never get to go out and you know it. But please, tell him I'm sorry if you find him, I-I-I lost my head, a-and..."

"It's okay Darry, I'm sure he'll understand." Soda said, flashing the kind of smile that made everything seem like it could never go wrong.

Soda and me could both read people fairly well, as in we could see what they were really thinking or what they were really feeling. He was just a little more caring about it than I was, basically Soda knew how to make people feel good, and I didn't.

For the first time in a while Darry felt terrible inside, to the point of which he couldn't take it any longer, and thats why he wanted to go drinking. It would serve some relief from him feeling like the asshole he never intended to be.

Darry walked out, closing the door behind him.

It wasn't until that point that I realized he still had feelings, Darry was a great guy and I knew that all along, but when someone seems as super-human as Darry always did, it was an easy thing to forget.

* * *

Soda was putting away the last of the dry dishes. Once he was finished, I grabbed two Pepsi bottles from the fridge and handed him one.

"Thanks." said Soda.

"mmhm." I mumbled, popping the cap and drinking from the bottle.

"You ain't been here all night have you?" Soda asked leaning against the counter behind him.

"Nope, I left the game early with Evie, after that I went to bucks and had a few beers, talked to Dally for a bit, and went on home. Of course I got up early, and thats when I came here. I really didn't want him seeing me at home. He kicked me out again yesterday afternoon." I explained.

"So, you left the game early with Evie huh?" Soda smiled and patted me on the back. I think that's the only thing he even heard me say.

"That's right."

"So, she giving it up or what?" Soda's smile became devious.

"Buddy, I hit the home-run." This was guy stuff, you always lie about how much your getting, thats the most important rule.

Soda whistled and I hit him playfully on the back of the head.

* * *

Around one o'clock the door opened and slammed shut. "So you guys hear the good news?" Two-bit shouted heartily, then walked to the kitchen and grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge.

Soda sat next to me at the kitchen table holding a deck of cards.

"Poker?" Soda questioned. I nodded my head, and he began dealing the cards.

"So Two-bit, what'd you hear?" I asked.

"Well," he began. "I went to the store this morning to swipe a few smokes and I ran into Shepard. He told me some soc kid got killed last night in the park. Got stabbed, right in his gut." Two-bit explained, then let out a small chuckle.

"No kidding?" I asked.

"I'm dead serious, ask Shepard if you don't believe me." Two-bit added, opening the ice box and revealing a nicely frosted chocolate cake.

"Brunch, anyone?" He offered.

"I'll take some!" Soda shouted.

"Me too," I added.

"Where's the kid, he still sleeping?" Two-bit asked, whilst carefully cutting the cake.

"He uhm, well you see, he-" Soda tried to explain.

"He ran off." I finished for him.

"I left him with Johnny last night around eleven. When did this happen?" Two-bit asked.

"I don't know, I think he came home around one or two in the morning, Darry was real shaken up and things got out of hand. He hit him. Pony ran out and we ain't seen him since. He's probably still with Johnny, he'll be home sooner or later." Soda tried to shrug it off, but I could tell it still bothered him.

"If I see the kid, I'll bring him on home." Two-bit declared, bringing out two plates of cake for us then returning to get his own.

The rest of the day was nothing special. Soda refused to go out in hopes that Ponyboy might actually come home, although he never did, and I knew it was driving him crazy inside.

Later that night Darry came home shit faced drunk, and sat around mumbling something about how he failed Ponyboy. Boy did he take guilt hard.

Two-bit and myself weren't much worried, to us it wasn't quite the right time to worry yet. But, for Soda and Darry's sake we stayed the night. I could tell they didn't get much sleep the night before, and if we hadn't occupied their living room space, they certainly would have stayed up all night again waiting.

* * *

"Hey," someone whispered shaking me. "Hey Steve, wake up." I pushed them away, only to be squashed by them seconds later.

"My god Two-bit, get the hell off of me." I moaned shoving him off again.

"Steve, the kid ain't come home yet, they're gonna be worried sick." Two-bit persisted.

"What time is it?" I asked tiredly rubbing at my eyes.

"Oh, I don't know. Around 6:30."

"Jesus Christ Two-bit, go back to sleep." I rolled over trying my best to ignore him.

"Steve, we really should go out looking for him. It must be freezing outside." He insisted, while poking me in the back.

"It is freezing outside. Which is exactly why we're not going out there!" I declared, burying my face into the couch.

**_BAM!_**

I sat up from the floor rubbing the back of my head, Two-bit had ripped me from my comfy spot on the sofa straight to the floor within a matter of seconds, and of course I hit my head upon landing.

"My god that hurt," I mumbled. "You win, you win, we'll go." I said annoyed.

"Glory Steve, are you always this religious when you wake up?" Two-bit chuckled, and extended a hand to pull me from the floor.

I smacked it away scowling, and helped myself up.

"Where do you wanna look first?" I asked, picking up my shoes and placing them on my feet.

"Let's try the lot first, maybe he's still hanging around with Johnny." Two-bit offered.

"Alright." I yawned, and as soon as Two-bit got his shoes on we left.

* * *

"Man is it freezing out here or what?" Two-bit said to no one in particular.

I lit a cigarette laughing at his naivety, and shoved my free hand into my shirt pocket.

* * *

Arriving upon the vacant lot I dropped my cigarette and squashed it below my heel.

The lot was usually one of our favorite hang outs. In the summer time the gang would come up here every weekend to play football and what not. Most nights the lot was also a place for Johnny to sleep. He hardly ever went home because his parents were constantly fighting, and when they weren't, they spent their time beating the hell out of him.

There was really only one place in the lot where they wouldn't of been completely visible, and that's under the trees where Johnny usually slept.

I remembered when Soda and myself had to take out the front seats in some hot shots Mustang over at the DX, they needed replacing according to him. In fact the seats were in pretty decent condition, but we were just gonna throw them away. When he found out, Johnny insisted on keeping them.

He put the seat somewhere between a bunch of tree's and often covered himself with newspapers. The only time he'd ever stay the night in the Curtis house was if it were raining. Even then, I seen him at Two-bit's more often than anywhere else. He must of thought that was the place he'd be imposing on the least. He always acted like his presence was a burden, when it never really was.

Carefully I followed Two-bit into the patch of tree's and began searching around. It was cut out like a maze almost, and once we reached the end of it we were disappointed to see only the car seat, and no boys covered with newspaper.

At least we knew one thing, wherever Ponyboy was Johnny was with him.

Our next stop was Johnny's house, and after that the park, the DX, and everything south of there. We had no real reason to believe they would of went any farther north than that.

Anything that far north was a big shot bar like The Dingo, Buck's, or Zingers. Those were all usually filled to the rim on weekends, and always with the greasiest of greasers. Ponyboy and Johnny weren't much interested in that sort of thing.

After a whole morning of useless searching, Two-bit finally agreed to go back.

* * *

"Well Darry we been out since 6 in the AM and we ain't found nothing yet. But don't you worry because we are far from done looking. Ain't that right Steve?" Two-bit questioned.

"What? Oh. Yeah, right." I said yawning again. "Damn I'm still tired, Darry you got any coffee left?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's in the pot." Darry sighed.

"Thanks."

Two-bit took some too, and I knew he was not going to let me rest until we found that kid. Oh boy, and did I plan to beat the holy hell out of him once we found him.

In a brotherly love kind of way... of course.


End file.
